When I first decided to start this project, it started as a “finding happiness” journey. After a couple of weeks of some deep reflection and study, I came to the realization that I did not have a happiness issue, but I had a “stuff” issue. My mind was inundated with “stuff” causing internal conflicts and constant turmoil within me:
Old unresolved pain,
Tainted belief systems,
Cultural/ traditional norms.
And this “stuff” was affecting most areas of my life, such as intimate relationships, businesses, and my mental health.
After coming to that realization this project quickly became a project of personal reconstruction.
I am under the notion that anything that is to be reconstructed must first be deconstructed.
Deconstruction: the analytic examination of something (as a theory) often in order to reveal its inadequacy. (www.merriam-webster.com)
Either whole or in part, the structure under examination must be torn down, analyzed, measured, and then rebuilt with tools and materials that allow the structure to withstand more, function optimally, and most importantly, BE GREATER THAN IT WAS BEFORE.
So, for the three following reasons, I am using this blog as a personal journal documenting MY PERIOD OF DECONSTRUCTION as I transition into MY PERIOD OF RECONSTRUCTION.
We all need to be held accountable! And by publicly admitting and owning my issues and stating my goals, if I try to hold on to these issues or retreat from my goals, someone can call me on them.
Too many times we attempt to fix our issues and/or set and work toward goals privately, but lacking any accountability, lacking someone to cajole us and press us forward, it is too easy to just give in and give up. It is too easy to stay “stuck “in the way we think and complacent in our growth.
2. Iron Sharpens Iron
It is my most fervent hope that the openness and honesty of my self-study will encourage others to embark on their own personal reconstruction journey of self-examination and self-analysis and begin repairing and shoring up those parts of themselves most in need of repair.
Additionally, I wish to help change the mindset that admitting you have an issue is also an admission of weakness. As written so eloquently by celebrated author James Baldwin, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” Admitting and accepting ownership of an issue is itself evidence of certain strength and commitment, and a necessary step to opening the door of opportunity to make lasting change.
3. To encourage others to begin to examine their belief systems to see which ones are rational and which ones are irrational.
For the last ten years or so, I have consistently stated, “Everything that has happened in my life was not for me, but for someone else so that I might help or encourage someone else.”
I hope my journey, analysis, research, and discoveries helps someone as I go through this transformation process. I ask for your encouragement and hopefully I can encourage you along the way as well.